Quick Disclaimer: I do not own these characters or the world they inhabit. They were created by the fabulous people at Zombie Orpheus for their equally fabulous RPG, Masters of the Metaverse! Be sure to tune in to Twitch.TV/zombieorpheus every Monday at 6PM PST to see more!
Abbi slid into the back booth. Frankly she probably should have been surprised to find another Joe’s Diner this far off planet but she wasn’t. After everything that had happened, domes, lost memories, false gods, Crash, Andi, all of it…finding another Joe’s in an asteroid belt seemed pretty much par for the course.
When Butch had vanished into nothing, one moment at her side the next gone like he had never been there in the first place, she had briefly panicked. Memories of Migraine and Kronos leeching out of the darkness, twisting tendrils wrapping themselves around her throat to choke her on her own screams. But the bond formed in the remembering, the link created as time collapsed, the love that stretched across centuries was stronger than even the most ambitious tyrant.
She knew he was alive, that he was safe. She felt his heart beats between her own, her breath catching his. She felt the healing in his soul. She knew who had been found. He would be back soon. Just some things to finish first. Nothing to do but wait.
A flash of dark hair caught the corner of her eye and Abbi turned to look. There was no one there but as she turned back, she found that her table now held a sheet of paper, a pencil, and a strawberry milkshake.
Abbi smirked, “OK. I get the hint.”
In truth, she had wanted to write the letter for months. There just hadn’t seemed to be much point. She would never be able to send it anyway. Why write to someone who would never know what you meant to say? But then again, if a Joe’s Diner could exist in a place like this. And the guy running front of house looked awfully familiar.
Dear Andi,
I’ve wanted to write to you for a long time. I think I just kept hoping that we would run into each other again and I could say what I wanted to in person. But that doesn’t seem like it’s going to happen soon. At least not soon enough for what I think you need.
I’m finding that the world is a beautifully strange place, that it takes as much as it gives, and that sometimes the impossible can be made wonderfully possible. So I’m writing this to you in the hopes that the same power that can transport Butch across worlds to come to rest in the arms of his best friend might somehow find a way to bring you this letter. Because I think you need it.
So much has happened. I know you have a family now. I can feel it. It’s not the same connection that we had before. I felt that go as I’m sure you did. But I hope you feel the bond that’s still between us. It’s right there. A tiny whisper. Empathy has its benefits. And while yours isn’t a super power, it’s enough to be unbreakable. So I know that you’ve found the home you’ve searched for your entire life. And I cannot begin to tell you how happy that makes me.
I don’t know if you’ll have heard but I’m married now. Butch and I. Such a strange thing to write down, almost as if it doesn’t seem possible after four centuries of running in circles. But I suppose in a way, it’s that strangeness that I need to write to you about.
Andi, you have to believe that you are more than the sum of the parts of the people around you. That you don’t have to define yourself by the people who share your life. I don’t pretend to understand what it is you do or what it was that allowed us to share a body and a mind. I don’t know how your soul and mine melted together into something greater. But I do know that so often you hid yourself. Even from me. That you wanted to let everyone else step up and take charge. That when it was your turn to lead, you only did so while playing a different version of yourself, a caricature of who you thought they expected you to be.
I know what that’s like. To believe a facsimile of yourself holds more truth than your own heart. I spent years thinking that I was nothing more than a clean up crew. That I was no one else other than a woman who had failed at being a villain and a hero. Someone who couldn’t save anyone…no matter how much I tried. And I lived that life for so long. I lived that life until you, Andi. Until you showed me how to be myself and not be sorry.
So, maybe I’m returning the favor. Maybe I’m trying to reach across space and time and tell you that you are enough. That you always have been. That you are exactly the hero you wish you could be. And not because you’re perfect. Not because you’re stronger or faster or more clever than anyone. Not because of the things you can do. You are enough because you care. You are enough because you show up. You are enough because this strange and chaotic world doesn’t make mistakes. It makes connections. And those connections make us.
I know what it feels like to be presented with something that you have fought so hard for and to still feel deep down that you don’t deserve it. If I’m honest, I’m still not always sure that I do. So I understand how scary it is to have to step up and claim it, to speak out loud the words that make it real.
To write to you and tell you about Butch, about our life, about what we’re doing and who we are now…it all feels so terrifying. Because I’m afraid that if I say it, if I make it true, it’s all going to break apart. That someone will recognize that I wasn’t supposed to have it in the first place and come to fix their mistake. But you know what? I have to claim it. I have to reach out for it and take it. I have to because this is it. This is all we have, Andi. And you taught me that. You taught me that if you love, love fiercely and totally. That if you breathe, breathe deeply and fully. And that if you sing, you have to sing with your soul.
Our connections make us. You’ve helped make me. And I hope that maybe in this small way, I can help make parts of you. But they’re just parts, Andi. They’re not your whole. So gather us up and take us with you. But make sure that you lead the way.
You can do it. I know you can. And don’t worry. I’m still here. I always will be. And I’m still looking for you. Because one day, I want to be able to put a face to a heart.
Abbi
Folding the piece of paper, Abbi wrote a name across the top. Placing it back on the table, she felt a pulse through her body and a voice whispered in her soul.
Abbi.
She smiled.
Here.
Butch’s arms wrapped around her and Abbi felt his warmth.
Coming.
She stood up, leaving the letter behind. She knew it would get to where it needed to go.
Somehow.
The Random Thoughts in my Head 